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You might be a tax protestor if you can’t imagine what life would be like without your entire paycheck.

Working with the underground is an interesting experience. These guys (and gals) really were patriots. They hated the communists and especially hated the abusive bureaucrats who had terrorized their families for so many years. Serge grabbed the power bar I was packing into my survival vest; I objected.

“We are all in this together.” He said with a strong Slavic accent. I knew that to be true and I also knew that I needed him to get us into the communist control “green zone.” It still ticked me off. I am really anal about my equipment; everything has a place and everything in its place.

If he wanted the stupid bar he could have just asked for it. I like being generous, but I hate being taken advantage of. He chuckled as he walked away, and yet I was the one that felt a little guilty sneaking another one out of my pack and slipping it into my vest.

“Gear up.”

I always felt nervous prior to a mission; I guess that’s the only time I have to think about what is really going on. I used to write a letter to my wife, but we were really deep behind enemy lines and had long since sanitized all personal information. Now I just made a mental “note to self.”

“Love you babe, hug the kids for me, and don’t worry.”

Ammunition, flash-bangs, grenades; I am the quintessential “lists” guy; I wondered if I was OCD. Radio, GPS, IR laser; do they have a test for that? Knife, gloves, headset; is it hereditary.

“You finished your list yet?”

“Almost, how much time we got?”

“Five minutes.”

Viktor Yavlinski was a total dirtbag. Before this came completely unglued he ran Internal Revenue for the city. He was some sort of state hero. Ironically, it was his group that started taking out political dissidents. At first they were just trivialized because they were “tax evaders” but it didn’t take long for any enemy of the state to come under his watchful eye.

It’s weird too because I remember the first guy he executed; I was all for public executions. What a great deterrent; they paraded this dude up on the stage, and read this long list of charges: tax evasion, disturbing public harmony, depriving health care to children, willful destruction of public facilities. I thought that it sounded like he was being railroaded, but went back to the game after he stopped twitching.

Turns out the guy staged public protests against progressive taxes. He preached that you have to control the money to control the government and organized huge groups to protest the tax system. He was pretty effective until they hung him.

Well Mr. Yavlinski, no deed goes unpunished, dosvi`daniya. I policed my brass, called for extract, and ate my power bar.

If I were ever to offer advice to someone desiring to stop withholding taxes from their paycheck, it would be: DON’T SPEND IT. It must be like entropy or relativity or one of the other immutable laws of life that we spend whatever we make. I hadn’t received even one paycheck with my new “windfall” before we found useful NEEDS to spend the money on.

We received the notice from the bank that the direct deposit was expected to be larger than normal and they wanted to know where to distribute those pesky additional funds. “Would you like the balance transferred to your checking account?”

“Absolutely.”

It seems that so many crises developed after the withholdings stopped. Global warming, starving children in Africa, approaching asteroids, impending ice ages; so many things that need those funds.

The fact is that there is incredible freedom in having what belongs to you and choosing what to do with it. Most of us have gone our entire adult lives presupposing that much of what we make belongs to someone else. But exactly who is FITW or Medicaid? Why do they get a bite out of every pie I bake?

They are hungry bastards and consume more than most of us would choose. I still can’t figure out why people let them.

“Hey George, ya got a leech sucking blood straight from your head.”

“It’s okay; he’s been there so long I named ‘em.”

“But the thing is HUGE and ugly and is making me sick looking at it.”

“But I won’t have any friends if I get rid of him, besides once a year he gives me some blood back; I am so grateful for that I tell all my friends to get their own leeches so they can get a blood refund once a year too.”

“I think I would rather just keep all my blood in the first place.”

“You are a monster; this leech has a right to live too. You should be supporting him. How could you be so selfish to suggest that you should be able to keep your own blood?”

“Great George; you and you leech make a fine couple.”

Through a long, deliberate MIS-education process we have become indoctrinated into believing that a tax withholding from our paycheck is legal, required and even patriot. But, brace yourself; your government lied to you. I know thoughtful, intelligent people who will carry on ad infinitum about how the government lied to us about the war in Iraq, and with the same exact breath tell me I am crazy for thinking that the government misrepresents the facts with respect to the income tax.

The government lies. The government lies. The government lies. If I’ve said it once I’ve said it a thousand times; the government LIES.

We all know this; but just for fun, let’s review. Barack Hussein Obama lied about health care. George W. Bush lied about WMD’s; personally I think Bush lies about almost everything, although I can’t decide if that is because I am older and wiser now and am able to discern the lie, or if it is because he is the most prolific liar of any President we have had until king Barack. Perhaps if I lived in the first half of the 20thcentury I would have thought one of those Presidents was a bigger liar.

Roosevelt did lie about supplies to Great Britain and apparently was hell-bent to get us into the war. Johnson and Nixon lied almost continuously about the Vietnam War. Kennedy apparently lied about his girl friend.

But all these lies are small potatoes. Each and every President and Congress since Lincoln has lusted for more Federal power and has known that the key to power is money. They also know that the really big money comes from the people. It doesn’t matter that the amount is small, what matters is that it is multiplied by MILLIONS. These politicians weren’t happy with the legal and legitimate sources of revenue for the government; they set their eyes on the billions upon billions available if they stole small amounts from everyone.

And so it began; the lie was modest at first, but eventually gained enough momentum to fool almost everyone. The IRS propaganda machine used the “MISSION ACCOMPLISHED” banner long before President Bush did; sometime during the fifties they had effectively completed the total annihilation of all recollection of the true applicability of the income tax and replaced it with the fascist notion that it is your civic duty to support the government with your taxes. YOU HAVE BEEN ASSIMILATED.

Do you remember the movie “Soylent Green?” A novel idea was presented in the film; prior to dying (and being converted into food for the next generation), you were blessed by the state with a trip to the local IMAX cinema to experience the world the way it used to be. It was utter bliss experienced just before being euthanized. As a tax protestor you are treated to a similar experience.

As you lounge in the easy chair you sit back and enjoy the peace and tranquility of a complete paycheck. Wonderful colors and smells fill the air as you experience what life is like when you decide how to dispose of your income. No more worries about receipts and record books; who cares, there is no need for forms or accountants, you’re free. In fact,

You might be a tax protester if you can’t imagine what life would be like without your entire paycheck.

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